Having A Brother With Autism

Growing up I dealt with having a brother with Autism. He was a child who covered his eyes and ears when sounds bothered him and repeated lines from television commercials. Often, he would repeat lines from Bymenen deodorant commercial and laugh. Not many people, I would know of would repeat lines from a television show, film or commercial as him. He made odd noises and hummed a lot. There were times he would get violent and attack my parents and sometimes myself. He and I were enrolled in the same daycare. The staff couldn’t deal with his violent tantrums, so they asked my mother to not return him. My mother placed him in a special daycare for children suspected to have developmental delays and there her and my father learned of his diagnoses with Autism at four years old. Throughout, enrollment in grade school, he was placed in special education known as within the Philadelphia Public School System Autism support. He had violent outburst in classrooms where my mother fought for his placement in a residential school. I myself was diagnosed with learning difficulties and was placed in special education as soon as I started the first grade. My brother was the most handful and people including family never wanted the responsibility to take him places. They asked my mother if they could take me instead to sleep overs and birthday parties.

Not many people understood Autism or any diagnoses children were becoming found to have making them seen as disabled. My mother met with support groups and consulted with members of the Autism Society of America to get help for my brother. She would give out cards and pamphlets explaining what Autism was. One day, at seven years old, I was outside playing I wanted to get the children’s attention so I grabbed the same pamphlets that I seen my mother give out explaining Autism the Autism Society of America provided. My father saw me and snapped calling me into the house scolding me. He accused my mother of telling me to do it. Their marriage became strained where they had differences in opinion on how to raise him. My father lived in denial over my brother’s diagnoses while my mother did everything she could to get him help. Eventually, my parents separated and later divorced. Dealing with my brother having Autism, was tough there were times, I endured stares from people and hearing them make comments. There were moments I would not be able to sit in the car with my brother and listen to a Whitney Houston song come on the radio due to him having a melt down attacking my mother at the wheel loudly screaming for her to turn down the radio. She had a high toned voice and it bothered him as an Autistic person with sensory issues. It was difficult for a person to understand and it annoyed me not hearing her sing on the radio. When going to the store, my brother would pull his jacket over his head to cover his ears and eyes blocking out sound and sight. Sometimes, he would grab my arm or my mothers squinting his eyes almost closed draping it around his head to cover his eyes and ears. The piece Blocking Out Sound (2021) in mixed media reflects the experience of my brother having Autism. It tells the story of the challenges of dealing with a disorder that lead to judgements from those outside who never experience it. I heard harsh judgements people made at my mother for struggling to control him. They especially those in the black community would say things like "He needs a spanking!" or "If he were mine I go upside his head!" There were even frightening times, he ran towards a moving car and the driver shouted for him to get out the street. The other piece in acrylic shows the moment he stepped near a moving car. At the time, Autism was starting to become a recognized disorder diagnosed in children where it found the diagnoses in boys more than girls. According to Autism Speaks boys are four times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with Autism. Furthermore, they report that 31% of children diagnosed with Autism will have an intellectual disability while 25% in the borderline range. They also, reported that minority groups have children diagnosed with Autism later or less. My parents were fortune to get an early diagnoses where most people of color in our community the black community could not. Cultural issues and economics plays a role in children of color not diagnosed or receiving it later. Parents of color lack access to health insurance and have a mindset where they do not want outside professionals handling a family issue. My mother was judged from those in the community over her openness about my brother’s disability. They felt it was an issue family should deal with privately. People of color were known to suffer in silence. Today, it is beginning to change. More people are having discourse on Autism especially within the black and Hispanic community though it is a cultural difference leading to openness about the disorder. Hopefully, more topics on the disorder will be discussed especially during Autism Awareness month.

Blocking Out Sound. Mixed Media in acrylic and watercolor along with marker. 2021

Autism is among the disorders diagnosed in children and is becoming known as a spectrum with different cases. There are individuals with Autism having the same economic opportunities as those who don't have disabilities due the American With Disabilities act calling for those with disabilities to have opportunities to work and get an education like those who don't have disabilities. Various professions employ people with Autism known as Asperger's Syndrome at Google and other tech firms alike due to their skill in working with technology. My brother has developmental delay with Autism and is in a group home. He works a part time job in a deli and gets social security. The pandemic has been difficult for people like him on the spectrum. Staying in the group home, he could not come home for weekend visit as he did and if he did he had to take Covid-19 test before returning to the residence as the staff insisted. He received his vaccine and is able to have more weekend visits. My brother loves anything having to do with the city of Philadelphia where he was born and can't imagine being anywhere else and is huge fan of Rocky along with watch the film Trading Spaces. I learned growing up dealing with a person like him that people are different and they are not all meant to be the same. A person prepares to welcome a baby arriving in the home and have the hopes of a boy or a girl. They hope it is a boy he would be the boy they envision playing sports and growing to be a man getting married raising a family owning a car or a college degree. Or if they have a girl they see her take dance classes play with dolls and grow to be a woman earning a degree owning a home and a car marrying and having a family by a certain age. Then things turn out not the way people thought. My mother told me her mother my grandmother always said "Don't wish for a boy! Don't Wish For A Girl! Wish For A Healthy Child!. Seeing the experience my mother had sacrificing everything to help my brother it is a thought anyone should have.

Boy Get Out The Street! acrylic painting. 2021

Autism Speaks

https://www.autismspeaks.org/autism-statistics-asd